Who’re you, again?

In real life, I’m pretty boring.

I have been told I have “hair like Hozier”, which I thought was pretty cool until I actually searched up what he looked like. Then I wondered if that person meant it as a compliment or not. I have monkey ears and enjoy clacking my retainer around my mouth to annoy people. My eyebrows are as thick as a Sharpie and almost meet in the middle. And when I raise them, they form perfect twin triangles. It’s kind of great.

(So, no. I don’t look like my avatar. Sorry to disappoint.)

Most of the time when a stranger talks to me, my natural reaction is to ask myself, “how would Daria respond?” and do it. You know, from the show Daria. You’re Standing on My Neck? That’s the one. And, if you have the pleasure of seeing me in super-duper-my-head’s-about-to-spontaneously-combust-with-nerves mode, I will hysterically laugh. And you’ll be standing next to me, trying to look all casual and everything, but I’m totally ruining your moment because I’ll be sinking to the floor with tears in my eyes. When you’ve said. Nothing. Funny.

I also get flustered when I’m talking about writing. Partly because I think maybe that should be illegal- crackling the air with something so muted and subtle is just wrong. There’s no pretty way to put it. It’s just wrong. Which means that when teachers try to say nice things about my writing, it has the opposite affect it’s supposed to have- I turn bright red and say, “uuuuhhhhhh well uh that’s actually the most mortifying thing I’ve ever heard, so, like, excuse me while I go die in a hole over there”.

The internet gives people who don’t normally say things a chance to say things. I know, dear privileged extroverts, it may seem simple- but don’t be fooled: getting people who talk nonstop to listen to people who almost never talk is actually really hard. And not to degrade the artists, the musicians, the actors and actresses… but a lot of what introverts siphon their ideas into is writing.

A lot of people think that writing is becoming somebody else. I agree, partly. I love to write fiction, which is… um… fiction. Not real. Through writing, I’ve been guys and girls; humans, two different species of aliens, and a dog… I’ve cried a lot over dead comrades, and I’m seeking revenge almost every day of the week. I’ve died myself, as a matter of fact. I’ve travelled through space more times than I can count… and I’ve done all this without ever leaving the comfortable groove I’ve worn in my dining room chair.

A lot of people think that writing is becoming somebody else. But when I’m alone, and the sweet silence of a Word document is the only other thing, I have to wonder who this is really creating.

7 thoughts on “Who’re you, again?

  1. Your post forced me to google Hozier and now I’m on the side of “that was a compliment.” When a person can communicate as clearly and poignantly as you do with the written word, it gives hope to not only language teachers but also every introvert who hasn’t felt listened to in an extrovert world.

  2. Wow…you are certainly saying things. There is a lot of precision to your observations here — I am interested in the idea that getting listeners to speak and speakers to listen is near impossible is fascinating. I need to sit with that idea for a while.

    Zink sent me to torture you 🙂 But I also think she is torturing me…I was supposed to be your teacher and I think I would have really valued being quiet together. I am really hoping our paths cross in ‘the real’ soon.

  3. My goodness, Mackenzie,
    I sincerely hope your future lies in writing of some sort. You have a great style of communicating and noting the differences between extroverts and introverts like us.

  4. Hi Mackenzie,

    I am a fellow Student Blogging Challenge member and thoroughly enjoyed doing the activites like you did. You have written a really good post about yourself. Like you I enjoy annoying my friends and especially my older brothers who are equally as annoying. You have posed a really interesting question on the factors of writing. I, personally, am not someone else but rather a different version of myself. I like to write on paper with a throbbing sensation in my wrist as it makes me feel like a proffesional author. What about you? You have some big questions in your mind and I admaire you for that.

    Claire
    http://bloggingwithclaire.edublogs.org

    1. Hi Claire,

      I used to write on paper a lot- and I can see why you like it. You get a feeling of being so much closer to your writing, even if you’re simultaneously bringing yourself closer to the inevitable Carpal Tunnel. But then I started using computers more in school, and I find it easier to edit that way. Even if I still type with one finger.

      Thanks for commenting on my blog!

  5. As an introverted, internet-obssessed writer I can totally relate to you haha. You’re definitely more experienced as writer though, I only recently started writing as a hobby.

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